To be a Shield
by Lady StarFlower
Summary: "I'm supposed to be her Shield!" Felix's son shouts. "I should've been the one with an axe in my chest, not the future Queen of Faerghus!" Or; in which Dimitri's daughter gets mortally wounded and Felix's son struggles with self doubt in the aftermath. Felix helps. Post Canon, after the events of Azure Moon. BG Annette/Felix. Angst in droves! For Bready Cakes.


"HRAAAGH!"

The shattered shout rings through the training ground again, and again; the crash of a splintered dummy follows every battle cry with an explosion of broken wood. It gives him chills to hear his normally merry son's voice distorted so.

Felix turns the corner, and stumbles upon a massacre.

His son is surrounded by broken dummies. Never mind that they were built for durability and resistance to magical attacks; they lie in deformed and twisted shapes all along the stone floor, broken beyond recognition. Already, the young man is whirling around to face the last of the thinning stock of faceless mannequins; turning his fierce blue eyes towards an enemy only he can see.

Magic swirls around him, almost too bright to look at, and Felix feels his heart sink. His son, Glenn's namesake who is never seen without a broad grin on his cheery face…he is unrecognizable. His son's eyes, Annette's eyes….they are fever bright with conflict and pure, unadulterated despair.

Felix waits for his son to fire off one last spell, wild and aimless, before he calls out, "Glenn."

The young man tenses, his broad shoulders tensing under his sweat-drenched tunic. "What." His voice is hoarse and cold.

"Your mother's looking for you." Felix says mildly. "She's practically turned the whole library and infirmary upside down in her search."

Glenn laughs carelessly. "But she never thought to look here, huh?" He wiggles his fingers and a breath of green wind dances around his fingertips. His whole body twists and turns to the magic's pull like a puppet on strings. "It seems like you knew better, right, Father?"

"That's enough." Felix steps forward, his jaw hard. "Glenn, that's enough."

"IT'S NEVER ENOUGH!" Glenn screams, his eyes going white as magic explodes from his body. Felix neatly sidesteps a wild burst of wind that scrapes at his cheek, drawing blood. The bright glare of the spell sears into his eyes, and he blinks with annoyance to clear away the afterimages.

"She's hurt because of me." His son's raw whisper cracks through the air like a weeping whip. "The princess will die because of me."

"You're being a fool." Felix steps forward with agitated steps, closer to his child who is hurting so, so much. "Do you even hear what you're saying?"

"I'm supposed to be her Shield!" Glenn wails, magic dripping from his body, salt water dripping from his eyes. His whole lanky frame shakes with the force of his self-hatred. "I'm supposed to protect her, to keep her from harm!"

His voice breaks, and the Crest of Dominic activates with a soul-shaking BONG as sorcery erupts from his being like a scream. "I should've been the one with an axe in my chest, not her! Not the future _queen _of Goddess-damned FAERGHUS!"

Felix slaps him.

It's the first and only time he has hurt his own children. It would leave no more than a reddened imprint on his son's pale cheek, but it shocks Glenn into silence, and though he has long since outgrown Felix, the young man looks small in the fury of his father's glare.

"Never say that again." Felix hisses. "You are not a piece of meat indebted into her Highness' service. You are not her puppet or her mindless shadow. You are yourself, do you understand me?"

Glenn scrambles for his fallen pride and reels himself up to his full height. "A true knight—"

"A true knight does not throw away their life for nothing." Felix says in a voice of pure undiluted steel, staring his son in the eye. "A true knight doesn't foolishly fling themselves in harm's way for their liege like a heedless sacrifice. If you die, who protects the princess in your stead? Hm? Some mindless soldier with half your skills?"

"I—"

"What does it mean to be a Shield, Glenn?" Felix takes his son by the neck, his hand curling around bright orange hair, pulling him close enough that he can count the freckles on his jaw, his nose, his cheeks. "It means to be human, to think for yourself. Claw a path for yourself first so your liege could follow with their feet unsullied. To die for them is folly. Live for them, Glenn. Can you understand that?"

Glenn's breath comes in shivering gasps. Felix pulls his son into his arms, marveling sadly at how large he has grown, so different than that toddling child of laughter just a few short years ago. His hands dwarf even his own.

"What would your mother think if you died?" Felix mutters. "Your sister? Me?" His voice lowers into a growl, laced with tender fury. "I will rather let a thousand monarchs die than have you perish in their place."

"Father…" Glenn stammers, "I…"

"I lost family to this farce of knighthood." Felix pulls away, but he holds on to his son's tall frame, reluctant to let go. "Your decision is your own, and I respect that, but no son of mine is going to throw themselves in front of a Blaiddyd scion without considering other options." His voice gentles. "Learn to parry, for Goddess' sake."

Glenn half-chuckles, half-sobs, curling into his father's warmth. The bitterness has been replaced with shaky vulnerability. "You don't parry with magic, Father. Didn't Mother teach you that?"

Felix snorts, his hands briskly setting about to smoothing away his son's snarls of tangled hair. "Block, defend, whatever. I never understood the differences."

His son laughs, and then buries his face in Felix's shoulder. He cries in earnest now, and Felix lets him, ignoring the strain in his shoulders as he reaches up to embrace his weeping son.

Even as a child, Glenn has never cried for very long. The storm leaves as quickly as it starts. It doesn't take long for him to shudder one last time and pull himself up, wiping the tears from his eyes with a determined sniff.

"Thank you, Father." His son smiles at him; it's a rather watery version of his usual quicksilver grin, but the emotion and gratefulness there is genuine. Felix smiles back and lets go of his arm, satisfied. "Of course."

Glenn's eyes roam over his face and hones it on the cut on Felix's cheek from his earlier outburst. "Ah, you're bleeding!"

Felix blinks and puts a hand on the wound, blood stinging his fingers. "Oh, so I am."

"Here, let me." Glenn puts a careful hand over his cheek, and a soft breath of wind that smells of spring whispers across the cut, binding it up until there's nothing left but clean skin. Felix studies his face as he does so, searching for something that he is relieved to find.

Healing done, Glenn's hand drops to his side as a distressed and guilty look crosses his freckled face. "I'm sorry, Father. For hurting you."

"It's in the past." Felix waves it away. He looks curiously at his son. "You never said you learned healing magic. Did your mother teach you that?"

"Did I teach him what?" Annette pops her head around the corner, and her eyes widened to see the mess on the training grounds. "Goddess!"

"Mother!" Glenn rushes to his mother and catches her tiny hands in his own. "I'm so sorry for making you worried and for making a mess and being a general ass and for upsetting Sis and—"

"Sweetheart, sweetheart take a deep breath before you choke!" Annette wriggles one hand free to pinch Glenn's face, grinning at his petulant expression. "It's alright, Glenn! I'm just relieved to see that you're alright."

She sneaks a glance to see Felix hovering behind them, a distinctly awkward air settling on him. The duchess' lips curve into a mischievous and affectionate smile. "Aww, I'm glad that you two were able to talk this out! I'm proud of you."

Felix mutters something unintelligible, embarrassed, and Glenn laughs as he scratches his neck uneasily.

"Oh, that's right!" Annette turns to her son. "I've been looking for you to tell you that the princess is alright! She's a little weak but she should be good as—"

"Genevieve's alright?!" Glenn's eyes fly so wide that for a moment Felix is worried that they would fall out of his head as the young man grabs at his mother's hands again. "I thought she—she—"

"Mercedes patched her up good as new." Annette huffs proudly, squeezing her son's hands back. "And she's asking after you, dear heart."

Their son falters, his throat working as his mind begins to whirl. "I—I have to—" Glenn turns his head back and forth in a panic, obviously torn between cleaning up the wreckage in the training room and making a beeline to the princess' side.

Felix groans and shakes his head. "Just go. I'm getting a headache watching you vibrate like that. We'll take care of the training room."

Glenn lights up like a candle and he ducks his head, grabbing his overcoat and his boots. "ThankyouFatherthankyouMotherI'llbebackbeforedarkGoodbye—!" And with that flurry of words, he takes off running, leaving flustered dust and trails of magic in his wake.

Annette laughs blithely behind her hand. Her days of girlish giggles are long behind her, but even now her sounds of happiness haven't lost their merry charm. "Look at him, all in a flutter because of the princess."

She leans in towards Felix with a conspiratorial air and a broom in her hand. "I do believe he's head over heels for her."

Felix winces as he takes the offered implement; he had guessed at that revelation before, but hearing it aloud from another person's mouth rather than in muddled thoughts in his own head didn't make it any easier. "The boy has unfortunate taste."

"Felix!" Annette punches his arm with a force that testifies to her ability to wield Crusher like a wand during the war, her lips smashed into an indignant moue. "Princess Genevieve is a perfectly lovely young lady with incredible intellect and kindness—"

"—and the boar's mad blood flowing through her veins."

"_Felix_."

He raises his hands in defense. "I'm sorry. That was unfair of me to say."

Annette settles back on her feet, huffing a little. "But I am happy to see Glenn back on his feet again. He's been in such a state since the princess was attacked."

"I think that this experience would mature him." Felix says in return, reaching down to straighten a bit of her flyaway hair untucked by her trek here from the libraries. "It's ugly, what happened to the princess, but I'm almost happy for it, for Glenn's sake."

"Really?" Annette blinks thoughtfully at him, reaching out to touch the soft, slightly paler skin of the healed wound on his cheek where traces of magic still lingered, judging by the way her eyes flare softly in response to the leftover power. "Why is that?"

Felix thinks of the expression on Glenn's face when he had healed him; thoughtful, the old flippancy buried under a new layer of older, wiser steel, the frantic despair giving way to a calmer determination.

It's as if he had finally understood what it means to be a Shield.

"It's just my intuition." Felix says aloud.

Annette considers him a moment; her blue eyes, Glenn's eyes, gleaming thoughtfully in the setting sun. Then she smiles, reassured by whatever she found in Felix's expression, and she leans back.

"Then I'm happy for it too."


End file.
